Sometimes when I have very heavy sneezing, with a watery and runny nose, I also experience pain in my joints, shoulders, wrists, fingers, back under the soles of my feet and tears falling for no reason. This emotional tears and pain really limits my movements. I feel myself disabled and cannot do what I want to do.
As suffered in my condition some thoughts flashed into my mind like thunder and lightning. I thought to myself,
What’s the benefit of crying? Why do we cry?, “I want to die!”
(1)
I want to die,
I do not want to die in pain,
I do not want to die in a road accident,
I want to die in peace,
I want to die in my sleep,
I want to die.
(2)
I want to die
I want to die while I’m preaching
I want to die as soldier on the battle front
I want to die on my knees
I want to die while in communion with my Master
I want to die in peace.
(3)
I want to die
I want to help others
I want to feed the hungry
I want to cover the naked
I want to bring the lost into the Kingdom
I want to encourage the discouraged
When my race will be over
Then I want to die
I want to die in my sleep
I want to die in peace.
(4)
I want to die,
I want to run my race
I want to run this race with patience
I want to run this race with steadfastness
I want to finish this race with boldness
I want to die
I want to die in my sleep
I want to die in peace
(5)
I do not want to die as coward
I want to die with courage
I know I will die
I know that my time on earth will be over
I know that time may be after one minute or one year
I know that the assignment which is given to me will be over
When the Mission will be accomplished
Then that will be the time for me to leave
Then that will be the time for me to be present before You
Then that will be the time for me to stand before You
(6)
The time is unknown
The time is mystery
The time is certain
(7)
Make me ready, Oh Lord
Cleanse me, Oh Lord
Make me humble, honest, and holy
Make me soft-hearted that I may cry with those who are in pain
That I may take their pain as my personal pain
I want to die
I want to die in peace
I want to die in my sleep
(8)
I want to die
Why I want to die?
When life becomes a burden for me
When my life becomes a burden for others
Everybody wants to get something out of us
We become a springboard for others
So that they may use us and go on to a better height
(9)
If you are healthy and active
Then everybody is your friend
If you are so busy in your daily activities
You do not care for others
(10)
Life is heavy
Life is a burden
Life is useless
Life is pain
Life is agony
Life is a constant struggle
Why do we cry?
I want to die
I want to die in peace
I want to die in my sleep
(11)
I want to die
I wish people may remember me with good words
I want to leave deep impressions on the lives attached to me
I still believe that they may remember me—a lonely, broken, discouraged person who tried to mend them and tried to encourage them…
I want to die
I want to die in peace
I want to die in my sleep
I want to die in Christ.
Amen.
