When I awoke that day I had great pain in my back, just on the back side of my chest below the shoulders. The telephone rang and my wife, Iris, handed me the receiver. It was Brother Chaman from our church.
He had called to ask about my health and about the progress of marriage arrangements for my son, Solomon, and his fiancé Anita. I told Chaman that I couldn’t talk very much. My friend comforted me; my heart was heavy and my eyes were wet.
Iris also comforted me and my daughter Ruby joined in. I suffered with this situation for perhaps forty minutes then I questioned myself with sincerity of heart.
Why did I have damp and wet eyes?
Why did I cry?
why do we cry when we laugh?
why do we weep?
Did I fear the costs of Solomon’s wedding? No.
Was I afraid to sell Ruby’s small piece of land? No.
Why were my eyes damp?
Truly speaking, I wept when I thought of Solomon’s wedding and my own health;
Would I make it to his wedding?
Was it concern over whether or not I will travel again?
Whether I will recover?
Whether I would come out of this tension and depression?
Would I freely travel in the coming days, as I had done in the past?
So many questions:
When I get older, how I will manage?
At that point of time I could not go out of the house, I could not drive. It seemed my life was crippled with that severe backache. Two weeks earlier I had recovered from seven weeks of neck pain! Where was my life going? These were my thoughts as I worried about the future. Maybe you sometimes think in the same fashion?
Iris asked me,
“Why are you are so upset; you, who teaches other people about faith in God?
Now you behave in a different manner. Why?”
A few days later, still in the same condition, I received a call from Brother Majeed Asher. I explained my situation to him and he said, “You are the one who comforts us in the time of need and now you are upset. This is not good brother. We look to you for help, guidance and encouragement.”
This is true; it is easy to teach others, but sometimes to put our own faith in practice is difficult. One needs a lot of patience to follow God’s word and live in complete trust.
After some time, I sat quietly and meditated on the promises of God, on his ever loving and unconditional faithfulness, his loving care and concern. It was a time that encouraged me and helped to make me optimistic for the days to come.
Thank you Lord for granting me comfort, peace, hope and a future. Help me to look unto you forevermore. Forgive my weakness, doubt, and infirmities. Help me to look unto You, help me to be positive; help me to be strong.
Thank you for Your promises. They are as bright as the morning sun. You promise that you will not leave me, nor forsake me.
Dear father in heaven make me true and faithful.
In Jesus’ most precious name I pray.